On Princesses of Long Island.

"The Princesses Of Long Island", Caroline Manzo & Teresa Giudice Visit "Extra"

When the show aired, I took a deep breath as I settled in. Oh no, I thought. This is bad. This is very bad. IS IT GOOD FOR THE JEWS? This is bad for the JEWS! These vapid, unattractive, silly, obnoxious and spoiled girls are making us all look bad. Is this how my demographic should be represented on TV? Is this even my demographic? Am I a JAP? How would I look on TV, would people call me ugly and fat and stupid? Oh no! How could that dumb Erica feed poor little orthodox Chanel AN UNKOSHER HOTDOG and LIE that it was kosher? How mean are these people? JEFF? Why the hell are you shopping for bikinis with your girlfriend and her MOM?  “My baby, my baby, THATS MY BABY!” Then there was the pool party and then infamous  “He poked me!” Not a real poke, of course, but a FACEBOOK POKE. “Pokes are creepy.” (Yes, they are.)Oh holy hell, could there be a more embarrassing moment for Jewish 30 year old women? Like any reality TV show, the harsh eye of the camera could be making these people behave badly, but who knows. They stand around in bikinis, yelling at each other, all heavy with the bloat of a life that involves zero work or ambition. Then we get to week two, the shabbat dinner in the Hamptons. It saddens me to see that these girls who are representing Jewish culture, have never even seen a shabbat dinner! They fight over Erica, the once “hottest girl on long island”, sleeping with the other girl’s boyfriend 13 YEARS AGO. Blond artist/waitress at 1 Oak is not over it. I’m befuddled as to why Erica keeps talking about how hot she was. How depressing would that be? To talk about how you used to be a babe and now you aren’t? I mean, if I were Erica, I would have stopped drinking and smoking and hit the gym for a few months prior to filming. Not that she looks that bad, but the show puts this whole thing into high relief and stresses her fall from grace.

So why am I even writing about this? Because at first I was deeply upset about feeling misrepresented in the media! Im a jewish girl from New York! I would NEVER let a strange man carry me from the manicure place to the car! I would NEVER call my daddy in the middle of a strange neighborhood to tell him “I feel weird” and I definitely don’t travel with my own duvet. I’ve never even been to Long Island, so I don’t know why I took this personally, but I did.  Then I read some lame outraged editorial on Huffpost and had an epiphany. Bravo is an equal opportunity offender! This is all part of a brilliant plan to show us how we are all different, but the same. Is the persian muslim 30 year old living off her parents and behaving badly in LA really that different from the Jewish one in LI? No! NOT REALLY! Is anyone on earth more crazy than Kenya Moore? No. Or wackier than Vikki Gunvalson? Is there a more awful show than Teen Mom? Or Dance Moms? (I’m not going to include Honey Boo Boo, because I actually like that family.) Or the Jersey Shore?  No, not really, its just less funny. Until Bravo shows us every subset of every culture in its rawest, most revolting, exactly the same as everyone else behaving awfully way, will we ever realize that we have more in common than we think? The best of us do great things, the worst of us do reality TV. And there you have it. World peace via Bravo.

I also have to add, that apparently I know a lot of people who know Chanel, the narrator who is kind of like the Jewish wanna be Carrie Bradshaw of the show. And they say good things about her. And to be fair to her, I think that she is a great narrator with self awareness that makes her funny. She knows this is ridiculous.

Thoughts?

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Comments

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Nicole, thank you for writing this. I have also been confused by the whole situation. I have felt upset by this show yet still watch it and discuss it with my Jewish friends from Chicago. I laugh out loud at these girls (not with them…) then get upset. Oy.

  2. I am a Bravo/Reality TV junkie and therefore love it. Jeff alone is worth watching in addition to all of the other offenses, the worst being calling your dad “daddy” after the age of 11. However, I will tell you first hand that reality tv is not real, check out my last blog post for my latest adventure. It’s hard. Real hard.

  3. Sarina says:

    God I’ve been waiting for this. I find the show to be hilarious but at the same time now I know how the Italians felt when Snooki represented them (And it seems as though Bravo specifically wanted to cast a short, stupid, whiney, and totally entertaining Jewish Snooki for this show). This is not how 99 percent of Jewish girls act. I’d love to say 100 but apparently after watching this show I can’t. I never thought anyone would ever be deranged enough to need an Asian nail salon owner carry her out of the shop because she left her pedicure heels at home. But apparently someone is deranged enough, thank you Ashley. Also who makes their father go upstairs to get their hairbrush?!? 30 years old. Jesus.
    About Erica, I LOVE how they are always showing photos of her when she was younger because right now you’d never believe she was hot. She is disgusting. And she needs braces.
    Amanda, your boyfriend is clearly gay. Why is he shopping with you and your mom?! For bathing suits?!!! That scene made me so uncomfortable. Also that mom is so unbelievably unbelievable. Calling her daughter while she’s out to dinner? Come on.
    Though this show is trying to make us Jewish girls look horrendous, I’m still thoroughly entertained and I think it’s going to be an awesome season. I’m excited.

    • Nicole Cohen says:

      Ashley’s relationship with her father is very very strange. SURE, pumpkin, you have 4 or 5 brushes up here, which would you like? And can I come brush your hair for you too? AHHH!

    • Nicole Cohen says:

      And yes, they kind of did try to cast the Jewish Snooki. But Snooki was a gold mine of a person, and I am not gonna lie about it and pretend I dont love her. Sure, I would never share a beverage with her, but I do think she is sweet and has a mostly good heart. Also, the Jersey Shore cast was really magical while it was in its prime. They are SO UN-self aware and so unapologetic that it was TV gold. Additionally, I think deep down they were mostly good hearted, harmless and cute kids… The show had the magic combination of freak-show and relatable.

      • Sarina says:

        Agreed. I think that’s what made (season one) of the Jersey Shore so awesome. They weren’t trying to be entertaining. They just were. These girls are trying SO hard to be what they find to be funny and in turn we’re getting “reality” over acting and it’s just making everything all the less believable.

  4. priscilla says:

    These “women” only make themselves look bad. And stupid.

    • Nicole Cohen says:

      Obviously, I agree. They seem to be TRYING to make themselves look stupid which confuses me. I always try to make myself seem smarter… you know because I hold “smart” to be the ideal to which we should all strive. These women however are actively trying to appear dumb, incompetent, lazy, obnoxious, silly and mean. Which confuses me, I thought everyone in the world valued intelligence, compassion, competence and hard work and so my thinking would lead me to believe they would try to be portrayed as such. I guess not!

      (Oh wait- did your comment mean that they are making themselves look bad- agree. OR that they are ONLY making themselves (not others) look bad?)

      • priscilla says:

        Only themselves.
        My Jewish husband is disgusted by this stuff and I always remind him that I and many others believe that Jewish people are devoted to education and culture.
        We just moved away from Freeport NY, the town that one of these geniuses was disparaging. I think the bad behavior displayed here will follow them forever. Their parents should be ashamed.

  5. mmish says:

    When my sister came over and forced me to watch this show I knew something was wrong. These girls are revolting and while your equal opportunity offender theory is right, I am still mortified that they are representing Jewish girls. One is worse than the next. Shabbat Shalom!

    • Nicole Cohen says:

      Dont worry we still have Jill Zarin, Aviva, and Bethany! (Thank god for Bethany?)

  6. I think these girls are just typical reality TV show people. It does make me miss my Jewish friends who don’t live near me, but not because any of them act like that!

  7. Atara says:

    I obviously mortified by them but could not agree more with you’re theory and he, at least it puts it in perspective. I also think these girls are stupid because I don’t think they’re really like this but they think it’s cute to ACT this way. Like you said many others have told you, I too know Chanel from a long time back and she was nothing even remotely like the way she is acting for the camera. I just can’t understand why girls would want to portray themselves and stupid and high maintenance snobs! Il probably continue to watch because once again Brave created something that’s so bad it’s good….

  8. Atara says:

    *Bravo

  9. Anna says:

    The media keep exploiting stereotypes, not fair.
    The annoying jewish girls from L.I.
    The annoying italians from Staten Island.
    The annoying jersey girls.
    Keep going…I wonder if people will ever feel comfortable taking about: the blacks from Flatbush???
    The hasidics from Brooklyn???
    The dominicans from the Lower East Side.
    It is sad.
    People love to hate…sad

  10. When I heard about the show, I dreaded it, but now I want to see it! And you’re SO right: Bravo is an equal-oppurtunity offender. (Though I sort of thought the Jewish part was covered by RHONYC…)

  11. Trish says:

    The girls are cute I think it’s funny!!

  12. Regine says:

    Nicole, you are hilarious. Im loving this post and all the comments, well said!

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