IT CAME TRUE: OSCARS Best and Worst Dressed 2013.

Did you watch the Oscars last night? Of course you did. IT CAME TRUE. What came true? Jennifer Aniston wore red Valentino, K-Stew needed to comb her hair. Seth McFarlane was pretty good as host but was still bashed on twitter. Jennifer Lawrence FELL, in what was ultimately the most glamourous, beautiful, humble fall of all time. Daniel Day Lewis and Cristoph Walz won: if I were a male actor, I would time my roles so that they DONT coincide with either of those two in a movie.

And of course, Anne Hathaway made us hate her even more with her twee, faux humble, IT CAME TRUE opener. It came true is the new “You like me, you really like me!”

And now, ON TO THE FASHION!

THE BEST:

Naomi Watts. You killed it. Brought it back to life, and killed it again. If I had to wear head to toe sparkles, I would wear something like this.

Jane Fonda, you make me less fearful of the passage of time. A vision.

Now this is a woman who can wear white, and short hair. I’m not in LOVE with the dress on its own, but on her, wow.

Adele has a last name. Who knew? When she sang she had her hair down, and she was the sexiest thing ever. How is it that she can win her billionth award and still be humble and sweet and adorable in her speech, every time?

Reese Witherspoon does not ef around with the hair and makeup. Glorious.

Dress was beautiful too.

Jennifer Lawrence, aka America’s Sweetheart aka the nicest, cutest personality to ever fall at the Oscars. While the dress is a wee bit bridal, she looks like a vision in it. Imagine if it were her actual wedding gown? How amazing would it be?

Halle Berry, if there were a single person who could personify what the Bond Franchise is all about in one single dress- its you in this Versace. AMAZING. And if there were a single word to embody it, it would be “GOLLLLDDDDFINGAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

Jessica Chastian, you are glorious. She actually looks like Jessica Rabbit here. Doesnt she?

How could one woman be so beautiful? Kerry Washington in Miu miu. And I cant find a great pic of her but if I do I will change it.

Queen Latifa can stand on a stage with Renee Zelwegger, Catherine Zeta Jones and Richard Gere and blow them all out of the water.

THE OK

Im on the fence about Jennifer Aniston in this. Its nice to see her in something poofy for a change, I guess. But I dont know. Not sure.

I want to like this so bad. But its just too much. The velvet, the hair. I love a good look from 1988 like its nobody’s business, but you’ve got to do SOMETHING to keep it modern.

Helen Hunt, I love that this is custom H&M, I just wish it looked better!

Note to Amanda and pale girls everywhere: WEAR COLOR. Trying to match your skin tone is a no no.

Sally, I like you in this. I really like you.

THE WORST

You may have won for best supporting actress, but you also won for worst dress. Congrats. I think this just proves that your own team hates you, because how could they let you go out with your nips showing like that?!?! 

Mellissa, that hair! What happened?!?!

I love Brandi with all my heart, but who let her in? She happens to look beautiful, except for the booby thing. TOO MUCH BOOB.

Amy: beautiful, but please refer to Amanda, above.

The hair, the black and blue and the bad attitude. NOT INTO IT.

Renee Zellweger’s dress was beautiful but her hair and makeup looked like she came from the gym. Plus I think she was drunk. Or something.

THE VERY VERY BEST:

Daniel Day Lewis, yesterday, today, tomorrow. AMAZING. (Although, I’m just gonna say it: while DDL was amazing as Lincoln, Lincoln sucked. I blame Steven Spielberg. The directing was CHEESY, if directing can be cheesy.)

All the men killed it. Not that it takes much. But the man in the kilt who accepted for Brave, AWESOMESAUCE. Ben Affleck choking up (and saying some weird shit about his wife.) YAY. Every sound editor who looks like the hail from Rivendale, YES! Be weird!  So many men in lace front wigs, OY. Jack Nicholson in a red bow tie- YES! How awesome was it when Jennifer Hudson brought down the house? And how jealous  happy for her do you think Beyonce was? (I forgot to talk about this last week, but I literally could not get through ten minutes of her “Documentary” which was literally a vanity project. That revealed nothing. And made me wonder what she is really hiding.)

What did you think everyone!?!?

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Comments

  1. look how poorly hemmed anne hathaway’s dress is. i’m so over her.

  2. mary says:

    iconic photo of JL elegant fall…..
    agree 100% on Salma and Anne comments… and on Anne something about her i can’t stand.
    and Renee what is going on with her?????

    • Nicole Cohen says:

      I dont know what it is either, but she’s become unbearable. I still think her best role was as catwoman.

      And Renee- I dont know, Im worried for her. That was scary.

  3. I’m laughing out loud and reading your commentary to my husband, who seems to appreciate it more than one might think. Totally with you on ALL. Thanks for the wrap up!

  4. Lauren says:

    Since I’m TV-less (for almost 2 years now!) I really enjoyed your twitter commentary last night. I felt like I was watching it! I agree with all of your best & worst dressed.

    You retweeted something last night about Jennifer Aniston & her ability to make normal look amazing. She catches a lot of heat for never stepping outside the box but why would you when you know exactly what looks great on you? She consistently looks incredible and I like that she doesn’t allow a stylist to put in her something awful (ex Anne Hathaway). Does Anne still work with Rachel Zoe? If so, it may be time to jump ship to Brad.

  5. i can’t even with anne hathaway. did she fire rachel zoe? but her “it came true” made me ANGRY. physically full of rage. IT’S EVERYONE WHOSE EVER WON’S DREAM COME TRUE!!!!!! she’s such a twat.

    we agreed on all counts this time. cool.

  6. Jennifer Powell says:

    Agree with all and would also like to write in Stacy Kiebler as a candidate for best dressed. She didn’t beat Halle but the DDL/CW acting rule should apply to being in the same room as Halle Berry. Try not to do it if your goal is to get noticed.

  7. Just wonderful insightful observations. xo xo

  8. margo says:

    love this. you hit t on the button- anne hathaway needs to go away – her dress is like a marching dress circa 1997 gone wrong – uch and the hair- she definitely did not look good

  9. I watched Beyonce’s entire doc waiting for it to get better and ended it actually liking her less :P She usually seems so humble, and yet she came off as so self-aggrandizing and it was just plain BORING! So glad to hear I’m not the only one :P

  10. i agree on all counts. you really know your stuff. Mens lace front wigs, haha!!! hysterical. how do you spot them?

  11. I wasn’t crazy about Anne Hathaway’s dress, it looked like an apron from the back. Loved Halle Berry though very Bond girl

  12. Megan says:

    I agree with you on everything!

    Um…Melissa McCarthy has friends in fashion and that dress was custom and a nightmare. That is a lesson on how NOT to dress a full figured woman. It reminds me of those Project Runway episodes where they have to dress real women and the designers completely fall apart, just draping as much fabric as possible.

    And I hadn’t noticed the hem on Anne’s dress – unforgivable. Refinery29 said that she had a Valentino dress but it was too close to what Amanda Seyfried was wearing. Why would Rachel Zoe not have a backup? The jewelry, the way the bow was tied…it all looks so last minute. Especially since Zoe dressed her in hit after hit the year Anne hosted the Oscars. Someone’s slipping!

  13. Alexandra says:

    Why do you tell that Amanda and Amy shouldn’t try matching their skin tone, meaning that those pale greys dont look Ok on them and you don’t think the same of Renee and Jessica Chastian? I don’t understand! and it has nothing to do with if you consider the dress is pretty or fantastic or rather the opposite. I don’t understand…
    For instance, I also think pale dresses in pale skin are not a very good idea, although this doesn’t mean they should only use strong colours. I think Jessica C was amazing and also the dress and that pale skin colour was almost her skin tone and that wasn’t the case with i.e. Amanda
    Just trying to understand : )

    • Nicole Cohen says:

      I don’t know! It’s not an exact science. Maybe cool tones don’t look good on certain skin tones? But Jessica’s was warm enough to brighten her skin? It’s really a case by case thing.

      I also think they might look VERY different in person, but on the red carpet in photos, nude colors can wash people out.

      It’s really not a rule- but generally it’s a hard thing to pull off!

  14. I love your commentary on this! It’s usually exactly what I’m thinking.
    My fave: Halle Barry. No contest.
    Daniel Day Lewis looked pretty damn sharp.
    WTF was up with Renee Z. and Kristen Steward — c’mon ladies!
    Anne, just. don’t. get. it.
    Sally. Killed it.
    Helen, meh.
    Loved Reese & Naomi.
    I loved the shape of Jennifer Lawrence’s dress, but the pattern on it was too matronly for her.
    Wasn’t as in love with Charlize & Kerry W. as the rest of the world.

  15. I love your commentary on this! It’s usually exactly what I’m thinking.
    My fave: Halle Barry. No contest.
    Daniel Day Lewis looked pretty damn sharp.
    WTF was up with Renee Z. and Kristen Stewart — c’mon ladies!
    Anne, just. don’t. get. it.
    Sally. Killed it.
    Helen, meh.
    Loved Reese & Naomi.
    I loved the shape of Jennifer Lawrence’s dress, but the pattern on it was too matronly for her.
    Wasn’t as in love with Charlize & Kerry W. as the rest of the world.

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