We rejoin the cast of the Jersey Shore in Miami… for the “summer” a two month period in the middle of winter… and we are quickly reminded of the transcendent love story of Sammi and Ronnie. Although Ronnie triple kissed a grenade and a landmine while getting all creepy at the club, he came home and snuggled (maybe smushed?) with Sammi… The very next day, Sammi proceeds to look through Ronnies phonebook only to find the number of his ex-grilfriend. “IM OVER YOU- Get the F*CK away from me”… She tells him through the bathroom door – which we will later find out is completely see-through. Cut to her telling Camera- I love Ronnie SO MUCH. All is forgiven when she goes with Ronnie to get a gigantic praying hand tattoo on his rib cage. In the Guido world, nothing says “Im there for you” like holding someones hand through four hours of tattooing religious iconography on their rib cage.
OH boy… this hasnt gotten less annoying since last year. AT ALL.
Speaking of annoying… Angelina is the most annoying character to ever be on TV. She witnesses Ronnie’s indiscretions at the club, then proceeds to walk around the house like a little miss know-it-all priss who is all knowing, and SO down with the boys… She actually mentions a few times how cool she is, ever since Situation and Pauly D let them hang with her all the time. (We are reminded again of how they have both done her.) Also, she is recieving ENDLESS phonecalls, that really annoy everybody. At one point, the female members of the cast tell her that she is a Shit-talker, that is the worst possible thing you can be in the guido world. IF you are going to talk shit, you cannot deny it. YOU MUST admit it, in order for the shit talkees to forgive you. Thats just how it works, people. SO JWOWW tells Angelina that she is in for an ASS BEATING of the first order. And The Situation conquers… Angelina is going to get pummeled. Her last saga of the episode, consisted of her getting super wasted at a club, cock blocking Pauly D because the girl he was hooking up with was married… and then telling him that she loves him and wants to marry him before hitting him in the face.
OUCH. She is now alone in the house. No friends for Angelina.
On to some other points of interest… Aparantly Miami fashion is WAY too conservative for JWOWW because she and Snooks take to shopping at a store for TRANNIES. Yup. You heard that right. This is for non ironic clothing that they will wear to the club.
We also learn that when Guidos go out, they have the shirt before the shirt… They cant just lay around in their fresh Ed Hardy T Shirts… NO! They wear a wife beater until they are just about to leave… Thats how they keep it fresh to death.
In terms of the Guido’s diet… They like to eat Spaghetti and meatballs even at the sushi place, AND, if something falls on the floor, they throw it out and then they just order in.
Lets see… Did I miss anything? Have you been watching? I still love this show, even though they have to work in a Gelato store but can afford $400 crystalized glasses.
(Photo from Us Weekly.)