The Jersey Shore… Theyyy’rrree Baaacckk!

Oh. Wow.

Jersey Shore cast heads to Miami.
I’ll never get used to hearing the words “creepy gorilla juicehead”  used as a compliment.

Basic plot summary for last night:

MTV is too cheap to pay for plane tickets to Florida, half the cast DRIVES there.

Angelina takes a plane, but she is wearing daisy dukes.

Angelina is the new villain of the show, and honestly I too want to hit her.

Sammy is all pissy, cause she still loves Ronnie, who calls her the C word.

Situation and Pauly D are still amazingly funny.

Ronnie gets beyond piss drunk and double makes out with a “grenade” (fat ugly chick) and a “landmine” (skinny ugly chick). Angelina witnesses this, but says she isnt telling Sammy, who goes to sleep with her sunglasses still on.

It’s funny that half the cast isnt even from New Jersey, nor are they in NJ…

Previews for the rest of the season look RIDICULOUS!

In other news of the Jersey Shore:

I went on a little antiquing tour around the area a few days ago and in honor of the Jersey Shore Season 2 premiere I decided to pick out furniture for all the cast mates….How could I possibly be more different from this cast? I too am 27, summering at the Jersey Shore and speaking with a Brooklyn accent, and YET- my idea of fun is picking out furniture for reality tv show characters. Holy shit, I have got problems… I have the interests of a 75 year old woman!


First up… This vintage chrome bed would be perfect for The Situation. Nothing says nookie like a vintage 4 poster. Mike, buy this bed… You will impress chicks with your cool design sense as they do you. $2250 from Corazza.

Second, I picked this lipstick lamp for JWOWW. Also from the 70’s. This would be cool on her vanity or desk.. (Or mine, or yours… someone buy this!) $298 at Corozza.

This midcentury modern piano would be so cool for Pauly-D’s house. Im sure he would paint it high gloss red or something, and that his musical talents stop at mixing, but for decorative purposes, I think this would be kick ass. $1800 at Corazza.

Does this chair not SCREAM Snookie? I happen to love it. $225 at Shore Antique Center.

These garden chairs are adorable. Sammi can have a tea party with her imaginary friends on them. $900/4 A barcart for Ronnie. All the better to create RonJuice on.  Angelina… Well. Everything I have to say is super insulting. Commenters can insert their own captions.  Vinny… You could buy these for your moms house. Where you still live. 

So obviously, this was just a bullshit excuse to show you cool stuff I found at all my little local shops that you could buy… Here is some more stuff that I liked…

$125 Dont know the price.  $325

Photo’s 1,2,3 are from Corazza Modern

Address: First Avenue Pavilion
Phone Number: 732.361.3179
Best Parking: 800 Ocean Avenue Asbury Park, NJ 07712

4 is from Shore Antique Center

Shore Antique Center
413 Allen Avenue
Allenhurst, NJ 07711
Phone: 732.531.4466
(732) 531-4466
(732) 814-1450.

All the rest are from:

Antique Emporium
We are located downtown at
646 Cookman Avenue, Asbury Park NJ 07712

I know. I’m pathetic.

Im also guest blogging on Belly Button today about some new artwork that I created… Check it out!

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  1. The garden chairs are lovely, I can see Suri Cruise hosting a tea party for her dolls with Hermes tableware there…
    The.. hmm, glass table is priceless (and slightly pornographic). It remind me of this:
    Thanks for guesting on my blog. xoxo

  2. great post!
    have a fantastic weekend!

  3. Okay, that post was hilarious. :) I, too, am a sucker for that show and I CANNOT WAIT for the rest of the season – hope it lives up to the hype!

  4. Hilarious!Thinking the Situation’s cool factor would go up 10 fold if he had that bed! Heading over to the promised land to check out your guest post now…

  5. As usual Nicole, you have given a supberb summary of what is to come (albeit belated in Australia) to yet another ridiculous yet addictive reality show! Tell me are Sammy and Ronnie still together? Did that fairy tale love story last?????!!

    Love your art on Belly Button, you are one talented lady xx

    • Nicole Cohen says:

      Thanks Sarah! So Sammi and Ronnie are NOT together, but they are still kinda keeping tabs on each other… Sammi says she still loves him, but Ronnie is double tonguing girls at a club!

  6. Rachel says:

    Love the post, too funny! That piano would look so great in my living room (….one day) and that light fixture is fabulous. Thanks for the great local shopping info.