We decided that Sarina should write more  recaps for Sketch42, but I cant resist commenting(big mouth) so my comments are in italics.
Unfortunately, we are three episodes into season two of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and we’ve yet to see a table flip. I’d settle for Gia flipping her hair at this point. To be quite honest, this season has been SO boring and getting through the episodes has been no easy feat. Everyone’s a model. Everyone has ugly pets. We get it. Give me some drama I say! But anyway, this won’t stop me from nit-picking.

(I was reading blogs the whole time… Could barely get through it. Struggling.)

We start out by seeing Jacqueline’s son painting a perfectly good white polo shirt. Jacqueline, get the kid a Hanes tee. And stop talking about your bad relationship with your daughter to your 7 year old son. CJ has more things to worry about. Like coloring inside the lines.

Scene two takes us to Danielle’s “$2-million” dollar pad where a bouquet of roses is so conveniently waiting by the doorstep. There’s NO WAY Jacqueline sent that gift. Either Bravo TV planted them, or Danielle put them there herself. I’m assuming it’s the latter. Of course, Danielle decides to call Jacqueline and thank her. Jacqueline screens the call, and Danielle leaves a nice message. Danielle, being the creepy stalker that she is, (let’s not forget her almost drive-by during the Manzo’s sherriff benefit) kicks her youngest daughter out of the room and calls Jacqueline’s voicemail back: “Hi Jack-len…I thought you were your own woman? Why can’t you celebrate my children with me? Blah blah blah” shut up Danielle. Your mind is being suffocated by your god-awful eyebrow lift.

(Danielle is a freakin skitzo. One minute she leaves a nice message. Appropriate. Then despite the sound advice of her 11 year old daughter, proceeds to leave a freakin nut of a message 5 minutes later. Dont blame editing Danielle.)

Scene three takes us to a 3-minute screening of Dina’s bearded cat. Fabulous pregnant Teresa comes over and they share herbal tea that’ll make a woman go into labor. They discuss Danielle drama….again. I’m bored to tears housewives! Oh, and Dina covers her bird with a zebra throw so that he doesn’t squawk. Dina, maybe you should cover your cats too next time. Just a suggestion.

(Do you know that Dina is an interior designer? I think her house is the ugliest of all of the real housewives’ abodes. Its filled with florals, and velvet drapes and roosters and…. its just freakin hideous.)

Caroline and Jacqueline share coffee. And guess what they’re discussing? Yup, you guessed it: Danielle. Boo. And Congrats on your baby Jackie, I meant to send you a card….but then….I just didn’t.

Christine is magnificent, period. But she gets jealous when Jillian’s beauty is discussed. Selfish brat. I REALLY wanted to see her projectile all over the runway. Would have made my night. A girl can dream right?

(I think Christine is a normal 15 year old, especially considering her freakin mother.I want her to become famous, denounce her mom and tell us all the gory details.)

Teresa drops 2 grand at some strip mall children’s store. As Joe says: “Happy wife, happy life.”

Dina takes advice from Zen Jen. If it wasn’t the rhyming name that got you, then the peace-sign t-shirt must have. Recycled cotton? She MUST be zen. She performs some voodoo burning of sage called “smudging.” (Ronni from Jersey shore would have probably said ….”We smudged.”) Dina, your buddha crap is really frikkin me out.

(At least her mentor has teeth. Echem… SONJA!)

The rest of the episode shows Danielle not being able to fix or sell her house. Teresa’s family dinner where she talks about her sex-life. Again (Twice a day if you weren’t paying attention). Gia practices her walk. So does Christine. Joe makes fun of Gia as some ploy to thicken her skin. Gia cries. Teresa laughs. Everyone gets down the runway in one piece. Jacqueline cries. And Christine feels sick because she ate nothing but two slices of honeydew. She should have gone for the chocolate.

To sum up, the same things have been happening every episode thus far. I’m hoping Albie’s stripper car wash will spice things up a bit.

Yea, so the show sucks so far this season. Doesnt mean we cant have a laugh here anyway. Look what I found on the Bravo Website. These are too priceless not to post.

Caroline Manzo, before she became Carmela Soprano.
I think Teresa should still be dressing like this. It suits her. (This looks exactly like someone related to me, but I cant say who.)
Danielle was a model too. And dont you forget it. Just a little piece of advice ladies, DONT POSE ALONE. Even at prom or on your wedding day.

And is it me, or is Jacqueline really pretty? And Caroline too?