05

May

A plague on both your houses.

Remember when Miranda had chlamydia on Sex and the City and she had to make a list of all her sexual partners and call them in order to “be responsible” and inform them that they might be infected? She has a list of over 40 partners and Carrie starts to wonder “Are we sluts?”

WELL, I am going through the Upper East Side Mommy  Hell version of that right now.

Cookie has chicken pox, (even though she had the vaccine.) Its mild, but she is still contageous.

Dont feel bad for her, cause she doesnt have any symptoms other than ten pox that dont itch.

Feel bad for me, because I am now calling the mothers and playgroups and informing them that my daughter is “infected” and that their children might have contracted the illness while sharing bobo’s or lolly’s or making out in the closet. To make matters worse, we went to 2 birthday parties this week AKA a baby orgies. I’ve literally brought a plague on both their houses.

But I called all the moms and the birthday hosts and told them that she’s got the pox. (Unlike the person from whom she contracted the virus, I might add!)

Now the emails and texts are flying and everyone is in a tizzy taking their kids to be vaccinated ASAP to lessen symptoms and judging us (ME!) for spreading a virus that is part of the Herpes family.

Oh, THE SHAME!

#Embarrassing.

(Dont you like how I quoted Shakespeare and referenced Sex & The City in one post? HA.)

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