You know, I really tried Bravo. Usually, what you’re selling, I’m buying. But this is just too much.

My body revolts at the sight of these twitchy Cabbage Patch Kids. There are so many reasons why I cant watch this show, but really the first one is: IT’S BORING. In the same way that the antics of the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus are boring to me: I just cannot relish in the discomfort of these spoiled, lumpy potatoes.

Seriously, I could watch Real Housewives of New Jersey every single day of the week. I wish they would just run a Truman Show-esque channel that just follows around Dina and Caroline all day. I would love that.

But that Jessie, every second of her screen time makes my stomach turn. The girl is so ENTITLED and yet she would be laughed out of  my former high school. “Like, whath do you want me to thay? My mom dosthn’t work. Thee never hath.” Poor girl likes a gay guy and wonders aloud why they aren’t together.

Couldn’t they have found some truly enviable children for us to love to hate? Or at least good looking ones? Where is the real Blair Waldorf or Serena? I’ll tell you where, real upper crust UES parents would never let their kids be a part of this debacle. So they found some children of social climbers to mock.

This show is so horrible, and not in a good way. Read the NY Times Review.